Becoming Her: Letting Go of Who You Thought You Had to Be

Dear Ladies,

There comes a moment — quiet, sacred, and a little unsettling — when you realize…you’ve been performing.

Not necessarily for applause, but for acceptance.

For safety. For survival. For love.

Somewhere between becoming the daughter they needed, the friend who always showed up, the “strong one,” the perfect girlfriend, the dependable employee — you started editing parts of yourself to fit versions of womanhood that were never yours to begin with.

Let’s be real: we’ve all tried to be her —The one who never complains. The one who always smiles. The one who holds it down for everybody else.

But what happens when the performance becomes exhausting? What happens when “doing it all” doesn’t feel like thriving — it feels like suffocating?

That’s where the real becoming begins.

Shedding the Layers

Becoming her isn’t about creating someone new — it’s about returning to the woman God already designed you to be.

It’s about:

• Letting go of perfection and choosing presence.

• Saying “no” without guilt and “yes” without fear.

• Giving yourself grace when healing takes longer than you thought.

• Releasing timelines and trusting divine timing.

We often hold onto outdated versions of ourselves because they gave us control, connection, or comfort. But growth will always require a goodbye — even if it’s to an identity that once served us.

The Woman You’re Becoming...

She is softer and stronger. She cries without shame. She rests without guilt. She believes without evidence. She chooses peace, even when it feels unfamiliar.

Sis, becoming her means trusting that you are allowed to evolve. You are allowed to outgrow places, people, patterns, and even the expectations you put on yourself.

God isn’t asking you to be perfect — He’s asking you to be honest. He’s not waiting on your performance — He’s after your heart.

“And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you…” — Ezekiel 36:26

Let This Be Your Permission Slip

If nobody’s told you lately: You don’t have to keep pretending. You don’t have to keep shrinking. You don’t have to keep carrying what isn’t yours.

Let go of who you thought you had to be —so you can become the woman you were always destined to be.

She’s already in you. It’s time to meet her.

XOXO,

Chelsey